Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
