he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
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