so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
