I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
