I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
