I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
