so let's talk penis.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
