I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
