True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
No subtext here. People are naked.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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