Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Your cock deserves a montage
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
