My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
