Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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