I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My vagina is very pro this idea
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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