were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
