Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
