That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
