sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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