In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
