I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
