I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Are we still banned from the library?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
