Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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