well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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