:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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