Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
