I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
