is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
