And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
