My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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