Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
