you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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