your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
