i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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