Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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