I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
