I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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