so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
