so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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