Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
