I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
