But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
