just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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