She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
