Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
