So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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