i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
