Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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