i think my tv is drunk
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
