Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
