GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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