i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
