i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
