just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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