I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
40s are totally the cure
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
