Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize