Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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