not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is Oprah even human
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
