If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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