Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
