I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
