I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
