i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize