Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
