Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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