Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
