I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
