I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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