drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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