I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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