He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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